


Marigolds and Cockscombs

by ImGayandTired20



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: (theres so many tags i didnt know existed), Hanahaki Disease, Jeremy Heere Has Hanahaki Disease, Jeremy Heere Has a Sibling, M/M, Other, RIP, do i know what iʻm doing? no, hanahaki, idk what beta really means but honestly iʻm going to die anyways so what does it matter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 03:53:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19221025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImGayandTired20/pseuds/ImGayandTired20
Summary: In another one of their conversations Jake brings up the meaning of flowers. He says his flowers - the Colesia, or “Cockscombs”, much to his joy and chagrin - represents affection and silliness. Theyʻre green colesiaʻs, and he finds them fitting to who he has them for.Meanwhile, Jeremyʻs flowers are red marigolds. Apparently they stand for passion and creativity, but also for cruelty and jealousy. When Jake tells him this, he laughs, finding the irony in the situation. Michael was his sun, but he had been ignorant to that simple fact up until he no longer had him. Cruelty indeed.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Basically Jeremyʻs life up until a few months after the SQUIP, to which he falls victim to a rare illness and is prepared to die. I warn thee who read this, I honestly had no idea where this was going, EVER, so have fun!





	Marigolds and Cockscombs

**Author's Note:**

> None of the characters or AU are rightfully mine. This is also my first work so Iʻm a bit unprofessional, sorry. But!! Have fun!! Anyways!! :)))

When Jeremy was 4, the first whispers of a strange illness wafted about his daycare, when his teacher Ms. Lanchre coughed too hard and carnations appeared in her hands. 

The children were amazed, thinking it a magic trick and asking her to do it again. She had laughed weakly at that, and told them it was a difficult one, to wait tomorrow and maybe sheʻd do it again. With reluctance, they all agreed and went back to what they were all doing before, playing and drawing and the like. Ms. Lanchre sighed in relief with that, but before she could put the flowers away, a hand pulled at her pant leg. A tiny girl looked up at her with big eyes, glimmering slightly with tears.

“My father threw up flowers once. He threw up so much he cried and bled,” The child hiccupped, trying to hold their tears in. “Heʻs gone now, but his flowers are still on his grave...Ms. Lanchre, are you going to be leaving to?”

The child was crying now, unable to stop the water from flowing down her cheeks. Ms. Lanchre took pity on her just this once, and with a small, genuine smile, she whispered, “Of course not, dear. Now come here and wipe your tears.

As the teacher comforted the little one, they failed to notice an equally small young boy sitting alone on the mats nearby. He hadnʻt meant to listen in on their conversation, but now that he had, he wondered what exactly they were talking about. It sounded like an illness, if they were coughing, and coughing flowers especially! Jeremy had thrown up once when he got sick a week ago, and it had been horrible! 

But flowers were a strange thing to throw up. Humans werenʻt supposed to eat flowers, and neither did the things you ate come back the same way! Jeremy knew that from experience. 

Nonetheless, he didnʻt bother to get up and ask, he knew better than to interrupt them. Still, he couldnʻt help but wonder later on when he heard other teachers talk sadly about Ms. Lanchre, what was so bad about the flowers?

 

~ 

 

Two months later, Ms. Lanchre never came back to the daycare. Jeremy placed two-toned carnations on her old desk every week, just like the ones she coughed. He hoped she was okay. 

 

~ 

 

At age 5, Jeremy made his first friend: a small Filipino boy by the name of Michael Mell. He was warm and filled with laughter, eyes always shining brightly and with focus. He rambled on and on about video games and tv shows, all of which Jeremy also loved but never talked about himself because of his shyness. 

 

Michael was a persistent ball of energy, and Jeremy loved that. They decided from the moment they met to be best friends for life.

 

~ 

 

At age 7, his mother began to have an insistent cough. Every time he saw her, she was coughing to the side, trying to clear her throat. Sometimes he awoke to hear her in the bathroom, coughing up a storm. He never went to sleep on those nights. 

 

He also noticed the gap growing between his mother and father. They stopped meeting each otherʻs eyes, avoided each other like the plague still existed, and whenever he walked into the room, theyʻd quiet down, as if they had been fighting before. Jeremy learns later on that they were indeed fighting, but he wasnʻt sure what of.  

 

It wasnʻt until a chilly September night, when he had woken up to grab a drink of water, that he had found his mother sobbing in the bathroom, a crowd of purple morning glories surrounding her. He immediately became worried. 

 

“Mama?” 

 

She turned, eyes glossy. 

 

“J-Jeremy?” 

 

“Mama, why are you crying? Why do you have flowers?”

 

With those words, more tears fell from her eyes. Jeremy panicked and rushed to her, patting her arm. She suddenly went off on a tangent, speaking of a man from work with a bright face, who had the most amazing stories and the softest eyes. She told him of how he treated her, how confident he was and how he worried so much for her anyways. She told Jeremy that the flowers were for him.  

 

“But I can never give them to him.” His mother wiped her swollen eyes. “He could never accept these cursed flowers.” 

 

“Mama…” Jeremy hesitated. “Is that why youʻve been coughing?”

 

She nods. “It wonʻt be long now...Iʻm so sorry, Jeremy.” 

 

He fell asleep in her arms that night, tears falling from both of them. 

 

~ 

 

A few days after his 8th birthday, his mother leaves and never comes back. She kissed his forehead the night she left and whispered her apologies to him as she walked out the door. There are no more morning glories around the house anymore. 

 

~ 

 

For a while, things seem to be okay. Jeremyʻs father seems to barely hold on, but he still has his ring on, so the younger assumes that means him and his mother are still married. 

 

Even so, Jeremy still has hard times; Michael is always there for him when he does. At age 9 he has a breakdown in school, when heʻs walking outside and spots morning glories growing in a teacherʻs wall planters. A lot of the other kids laugh and call him a wuss, but Michael just rushes up to him and holds him, petting his hair and whispering him reassurances. Jeremy felt safe in Michaelʻs arms that day. 

 

Whenever Michael was going through things too, Jeremy made sure to be there. When he had to get glasses for the first time, some kids picked on him for it and laughed at the big round glasses. 

 

“With those on, youʻre even more of a dork!” 

 

Michael became a lot more quiet at the end of Elementary School. 

 

But not around Jeremy. Jeremy himself couldnʻt protect Michael from all the harsh words and mean laughs they got from their peers, but he could bet on himself that he would never judge a single thing that Michael did or said. He made absolute sure that he was his friendʻs safe place, and that his friend was never afraid or insecure around him. 

 

Everything about Michael was bright and warm, and Jeremy would do anything to make sure he kept that safe. 

 

~

 

When Jeremy and Michael are 13, thereʻs a new girl in school: Christine Canigula. Sheʻs bright and quirky and has a habit of jumping from place to place. 

 

Jeremy adores her, but doesnʻt get too close to her, afraid of who she might actually turn out to be. Besides, sitting next to Michael is fine enough. 

 

“Hey man, you okay?” 

 

Jeremy shakes his head and turns in the direction of the voice, smiling when Michael puts an arm around his neck and squeezes. His large brown eyes convey worry, and the other laughs when he begins to pout, beauty mark and soft lips becoming more prominent. 

 

“Iʻm fine, just thinking about stuff.” 

 

“Mm...Alright, just checking up on ya. We donʻt want your brain hurting too much from all that ʻthinkingʻ, do we?” 

 

Michael snickers as Jeremy rolls his eyes and elbows his side, bursting into laughter at the contact. Seeing his best friend smile and laugh gives him all the comfort he needs to get through any day. 

 

A few days after the school year starts, Jeremy begins to cough. 

 

~ 

 

The coughing gets worse further into middle school, to the point where he canʻt hide it much anymore. Michael begins to get worried, but Jeremy never lets him see the red marigolds that come up from his throat. He wonders who his flowers are for. 

 

After a day of struggling to keep his breathe, he bumps into Christine. Heʻs frightened and mutters his apologies, but she laughs and says itʻs fine. Her bubbly nature calms Jeremy down, and as he listens to her ramble on about a recent musical sheʻs just watched for the first time, he thinks, ʻThis is someone who my flowers can be for.ʻ

 

He settles with believing Christine is the reason for the marigolds in his chest, and at some point, the flowers settle too.

 

~ 

 

Come high school, the flowers are almost gone. He finds this a bit strange, as his fondness for Christine has grown, but heʻs more able to control his feelings now, so he chalks it up to just being that. 

 

Michael is still as bright as ever, but theyʻre not always together like before. Michael works now at a nearby gas station, where he gets 50% off his slushies (he was so happy when he found out he could do that), so heʻs usually on his own for Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays. But every other day, theyʻre sitting at his house playing video games. Jeremy couldnʻt ask for more.

 

Except that he does. 

 

Junior year his tormentor Rich Goranski strides up to him in the boys bathroom. Things go slightly downhill after. 

 

~ 

 

Months later, after what Rich deemed the “SQUIP-cident” was over, Jeremy and Christine begin to date. Itʻs great, and Jeremy is happy whenever heʻs with the other, but something is missing. His throat still tickles with the reminiscence of something meant to be gone, and he has to excuse himself from a few dates because his throat closes up too often to be a coincidence. 

 

He still doesnʻt see the red again. Jeremy and Christine leave their relationship on good terms.

 

~ 

 

On a rather chilly February night, the SQUIP Squad (once more Richʻs idea) is out together again doing whatever teenagers do when theyʻre bored. At the moment, they sit idly in the backyard of Jake Auntʻs house, where a large screen is set up so they can watch old cartoon shows and laugh at their childhoods. 

 

But something is off. 

 

Even after the whole incident with the SQUIP, Jeremy and Michael had never been inseparable. In fact, they seemed to stick closer together afterwards, always texting and notifying each other of where they were and what they were doing. Tonight was not supposed to be any exception. 

 

But Jeremy and Michael werenʻt together tonight, leaning on each other and teasing like they always did. This time, Michael was with Rich, leaning and laughing at him as if they were the ones who were best friends of 12 years; Jeremy was totally not jealous of this. 

 

He took this opportunity to sit and chat with Christine, who gave him a quick look of sympathy before distracting him with a tangent on the new play they were working on for rehearsal. It helped for a while.

 

“Hey guys.” 

 

Until it didnʻt. 

 

“Guess what?”

 

Michaelʻs eyes were so bright in this moment; it was captivating. 

 

“Me and Rich are dating.” 

 

~ 

 

Everyone had cheered for them, Jenna taking a picture of the two holding hands and saying that she was going to post it all over social media, Brooke and Chloe giving smiles and a thumbs up, and Christine squealing. Jake too had given his signature smile and a nod of congratulations. 

 

Jeremy didnʻt know what to do, so he just smiled and shot finger guns at Michael when the latter looked over and beamed at him. Why did it feel like he couldnʻt breathe? 

 

He wouldnʻt fall here now though, and so held it together for the rest of the night.

 

While sitting in the comfortable and excited silence of Michaelʻs PT cruiser, he whispers, “Why didnʻt you tell me before?”   
  


The Filipino boy flinched slightly, but relaxed and whispered back just as softly, “I was worried that I wouldnʻt know exactly what to say or how to answer you if you had questions. Plus, it was easier to just tell everyone simultaneously.” 

 

At the answer, Jeremy nods in contemplation, and after another few seconds of silence, says, “Iʻm happy for you.” 

 

Michaelʻs smile burns just as much as his eyes do, and Jeremy canʻt help but think that it was worth it. 

 

When he gets home, he throws up near his bedside the same old marigold flowers that he hadnʻt seen since the end of 8th grade and early 9th. As he passes out from exhaustion, he canʻt help but think, ʻOh, thatʻs who itʻs for.ʻ

 

~ 

 

The flowers are harder to hide now more than ever. He feels like he has to cough every second, and it increases tenfold whenever he sees Michael and Rich do something cute like holding hands or kissing each other on the nose. They are so ridiculously good together, and Jeremy knows it isnʻt fair to feel so jealous and angry at them for being happy.

 

He gets caught coughing in the back of the theater room by Jake 2 weeks after the flowers come back. The other had been so quiet, and the blood pumping through his head had been so loud as he choked up flower after flower, he never realized there was anyone else in the room until Jake had put his hand on his shoulder. 

 

Turning around, Jeremy had been terrified of who saw and how he would explain this strange illness to them, but one look at the tallerʻs face told him otherwise. His skin was a stark pale, eyes trained on the red petals and flower lumps on the ground before he looked back up to make eye contact. Jakeʻs lips were a thin line when he asked, “You too?” 

 

The only answer he got was a weak cough that brought up a single marigold from his lips.

 

~ 

 

Jeremy and Jake hung out a lot after that. It wasnʻt as if they had anything else or anyone else to be with, seeing as now most of Michael and Richʻs free time was spent together. Michael still made Friday nights his gamer nights with Jeremy though, which warmed the others heart just a little, but broke it all the same. 

 

Most of the time, Jake and Jeremy would hang out wherever, as long as it was quiet and they wouldnʻt really be bothered by other people. They talked about anything that came to mind, but the illness was usually the topic of question for them both. 

 

“Whenʻd you get yours?” Jeremy asked one day. 

 

“Around the time of Halloween. When he set the fire, I was terrified. I mean, why wouldnʻt I be? My house was burning down and everyone was screaming to get out.” Jake sighed. “He was stuck up on the second floor, screaming and laughing his ass off. I had went back in to check if everyone had got out, but not him…” 

 

Jake had gone silent for awhile, and Jeremy waited patiently for him to continue, until he realized the other was crying, shoulders shaking uncontrollably. 

 

“When I saw him, that was the worst Iʻd ever felt in my life. I was so scared of losing him there, in that fire...I-I didnʻt know what else to do except run at him.” Jake gave a dry laugh. “I only broke my legs in the process, he knocked out unconscious, and we ended up having to wait for the ambulance. How pathetic.”

 

Jeremy knew there was a lot more behind that last statement, but he didnʻt push the other any more, as they were enveloped in silence. It took awhile for Jakeʻs tears to stop, and once he was done, he leaned heavily on to Jeremy. The latter only awkwardly patted his head and leaned back. 

 

“After I got out of the hospital was when the flowers showed up. I had no idea what was going on, so I just googled it like every other thing. I wasnʻt really surprised by the results.” 

 

He looked over to Jeremy. “What about you?” 

 

Jeremy sighed. “Thatʻs a long story.”

 

~ 

 

In another one of their conversations Jake brings up the meaning of flowers. He says his flowers - the Colesia, or “Cockscombs”, much to his joy and chagrin - represents affection and silliness. Theyʻre green colesiaʻs, and he finds them fitting to who he has them for. 

 

Meanwhile, Jeremyʻs flowers are red marigolds. Apparently they stand for passion and creativity, but also for cruelty and jealousy. When Jake tells him this, he laughs, finding the irony in the situation. Michael was his sun, but he had been ignorant to that simple fact up until he no longer had him. Cruelty indeed. 

 

Later on that night he went on a search himself. Two-toned carnations meant regret for a love that cannot be shared. Morning glories meant a love in vain.

 

~ 

 

The summer after junior year, Jeremy is contacted from his mother. Heʻs surprised to hear her voice, but is too afraid to tell her itʻs because he thought she died, flowers pouring helplessly from her throat and decorating her corpse. It was a nightmare that haunted his mind for years after she left. 

 

She told him that she had run away with the man of her dreams, and that she had found happiness with him, and so the flowers had slowly faded away. They lived in Maine now, with two sustainable jobs and a lovely house under their name. But thatʻs not what she was calling him about. 

 

Apparently, she had just given birth a week ago to a healthy baby boy, one with blue eyes, peachy skin, and curly red hair. She said his name was James. She wanted Jeremy to meet him some time soon, since it was the summer. He was shocked to say the least, but promised he would. 

 

After telling his father (thankfully the man had been able to get over the eventual divorce, and with the help of his son, had finally gotten back out into reality), he was sent to Maine where he spent a week with the new family. 

 

James was the tiniest thing Jeremy had ever seen, and he immediately loved his brother more than anything. He sent a picture of him to the SQUIP chat, and everyone agreed they loved James too. 

 

His mother was doing well too. The light was back in her eyes, and she no longer had red-stained lips like before. Jeremy was happy for her. 

 

On his last day, he told her of his marigolds. She didnʻt cry, but she held him tightly and apologized for the grief she had given him. It was the last thing she said to him before he had gotten into the cab.

As the car rolled away, James began to cry. 

 

~ 

 

The flowers were getting worse. Not only were there full bouquets spewing from his throat, but he could taste the heavy iron of blood on his tongue. He didnʻt know how long he had left. 

 

Jake started to hang around him more, just in case anything happened to him out in public. 

 

“I havenʻt been coughing up blood yet, thank god, but I donʻt know when thatʻll happen either.” 

 

They decided to take care of each other in case of emergencies. The others began to whisper about them when they werenʻt looking. 

 

~ 

 

A harsh knock on his front door scared Jeremy out of his stupor. He had just gotten home from hanging out with Jake at his own house, and had been spacing out in the living room when he heard it.

 

With a sigh and a soothing rub to his chest, he reached for the door and swung it open, about to question whoever it was why they were knocking so loudly when he stopped. 

 

In front of him was an angry Michael, eyebrows furrowed and mouth pulled back in an almost sneer. Jeremy didnʻt know what was wrong but it seemed to have something to do with him. 

 

“Dude, what the heck!” He threw his hands up in the air, looking straight into the pale boyʻs eyes. “Only now you open the door?” 

 

Without even asking, the taller - since when did he get taller? - stomped into the living room, yanking his signature headphones off. Jeremy could faintly here the sounds of Panic! At the Disco playing from the small speakers. Uh oh. That meant Michael was in a really bad mood. 

 

“What?”

 

“Iʻve been trying to talk to you for like a whole week, but no oneʻs been answering my calls, texts, or insistent knocking!”

 

Oh. This week Jeremy had been alternating between the hospital and Jakeʻs house, since his place was much closer to the hospital than his own. He had almost choked entirely on his flowers last week Sunday, so Jake rushed him in an ambulance and to the ER, where he stayed for a few days before going with the other to his place. He had forgotten about his phone for the meanwhile, too exhausted and sick to really get to it. Jake had called his father to let the older know where Jeremy was, since Mr. Heere was off on a quick business trip, but other than that didnʻt think to contact the others. 

 

Jeremy honestly hadnʻt thought anyone else would be looking for him that week, so he didnʻt check up to tell them the news. His anxiety would have stopped him anyways from telling them the truth.

 

But now here Michael was, angry and worried about Jeremyʻs disappearance for a near week, and he could feel the flowers clawing at his lungs and trachea. His flowers were getting worse. 

 

“Look Michael, I-I um - “

 

“I donʻt even want an excuse, Jeremy, I just want you to tell me the truth!” Michael seemed to be near tears, and it pulled at Jeremyʻs flowers. “You havenʻt even told Christine or Brooke yet, and we can all see it!”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Youʻre dating Jake!” 

 

Jeremy was absolutely floored after that. What? Him and Jake? They were hanging out a lot lately sure, but that was because of the flowers! Then again, they treated each other carefully because of it, so he could understand how it may come off to other people that their relationship was a bit more intimate than just bros. But still, the prospect was kind of silly. 

 

Michael still went off on his rant, though. “I know Iʻm not always able to hang anymore, but that doesnʻt mean you just outright ignore me and go and make out with your new boyfriend! Weʻre still friends, Jeremy! Or are we back to that stupid shit with the whole SQUIP-cident?” 

 

Now _that_  smacked Jeremy in the face way harder than anything he would have expected. He choked, trying to get words out, but the only thing he felt was blood.

 

Michael now looked at him straight in the eyes, the light in them burning furiously with questions. “Whatʻs up with you lately? You donʻt tell me things anymore! I thought we made up, and I was ready to put this whole mess behind me, but with things going on like this, we may have just left us where we were at the goddamn party.” 

 

Jeremyʻs heart stopped at that. He knew Michael was mad, but to bring that up? He really messed up big time. But he didnʻt know how to explain it. How could you tell the person of your dreams that you were slowly dying from flowers that grew because of them in your lungs, and that the guy everyone thought you were dating was actually someone who was also dying from the same effects? 

 

He started to hyperventilate, not knowing how to explain himself but not wanting Michael to be angry with him. Everything was getting dim now, and Jeremy frantically looked around him for any source that could bring him back to common ground. 

 

Michaelʻs manner immediately changed when he saw this. “Jeremy?” 

 

The aforementioned began to stumble around the room, looking for the house phone, since his own phone was all the way upstairs. He needed to call Jake, or maybe the ambulance again. The flowers were fighting in his throat, threatening to spill over. 

 

“W-Whoa Jeremy,” Michael reached out to the other, not exactly touching him in case he lashed out, but there in case he fell over. “Calm down. I didnʻt mean to startle you, I was just really angry. Deep breathes, okay?” 

 

Jeremy tripped after he said that, falling over on the floor and clawing at his chest. He didnʻt want to throw up his flowers in front of Michael, but he wouldnʻt be able to help it once they were out. How would he explain it to the boy of his dreams then? 

 

Before he could even blink, red marigolds poured from his mouth and onto the floor, falling to the ground with a splat sound, drenched in blood. Jeremy continued coughing, not being able to breathe. Oh god, was this how he was going to die? At least Michael was here. 

 

Speaking of who, the other was panicking now as well, not understanding what he had just seen but at least knowing something wasnʻt okay with Jeremy. He immediately called for an ambulance, then sent out a text to the chat telling them something was going wrong with Jeremy. 

 

Turning back to his friend, he pulled the boy over and lifted him on his chest. Jeremy weakly reached up to pat his cheeks, attempting to give him comfort as petals still fell from his lips. Michael shook his head and held Jeremyʻs hand, feeling for his pulse. He was good for now. 

 

“Jeremy, what was that?” He shuddered. “Why are you throwing up flowers?”   
  


The latter shrugged lightly, leaning more into the tallerʻs warmth. He never deserved this warmth. Not once. 

 

Michaelʻs phone scared them both, Michael more as he scrambled to see who was calling. It was Jake. A twinge filled his chest but he answered. 

 

“Jake?”

 

“Mikey! Whatʻs happening, whereʻs Jeremy?” Jake sounded frantic, and the sound of a car engine hummed lightly in the background. 

 

“With me, heʻs in my arms - he -” The situation started to hit him now. “Oh my god, he threw up flowers, Jake - thatʻs not normal, this isnʻt something normal - is he dying? Will he die? Whatʻs going on - “

 

“Michael,” Jakeʻs voice was the most serious Michael had ever heard. “Listen to me, stay calm, and hold Jeremyʻs head up as much as possible. Heʻll cough up more if heʻs laying down.” 

 

The other nodded despite not being seen and shuffled Jeremy so that he was at a better angle, the small boy coughing lightly and blinking, trying to listen to the conversation. 

 

“Okay, you called the ambulance, right?” A hum of confirmation. “They should be there soon, and should know what to do with Jere, so just stick with him until they get there, and Iʻll explain everything at the hospital.” 

 

“Jake, what - “ 

 

“Donʻt do anything stupid.”

 

And with that the call ended. Michael scoffed and put the phone back in his pocket before turning to tend to Jeremy, who blinked slowly while still slightly coughing up flower petals. They were red, just like Michaelʻs hoodie. 

 

“Jere?”   
  


The boy turned to look lazily at his friend. He smiled. 

 

“Youʻre gonna be okay, Jere Bear, everyone will be here soon, so just rest, okay?”

 

Jeremy frowned. He didnʻt like seeing Michael this way. “Are you mad at me, Mikey?” 

 

“Wha - “ The other blinked. Oh, right. “No, no Iʻm - Iʻm not mad at you, not anymore, you just - you gotta stay with me, alright? Until the ambulance gets here.”

 

He looked over at the other pile of flowers on the ground. Was that blood on them?

 

Jeremy smiled. “Thatʻs good, I donʻt wanna go out like this if you were made at me, Mikey.” 

 

Michael choked. “NO, no - you arenʻt dying, NO ONE is dying here, Jere. Whatever you have isnʻt killing you, it isnʻt.”

 

Jeremyʻs smile got softer, and something told Michael that what he said was more of a comfort for himself than for the other. Jeremy patted his cheek. 

 

“Itʻll be okay,” His eyes began to droop as he said those words. Since when was Jeremy so tired? “Youʻll still be as bright as always, Micah…” 

 

“Jeremy?” Michael called out, shaking the other. He didnʻt get an answer. “Jeremy?!” 

 

He continued to call out and shake the other - too afraid of what could have possibly happened - until he heard the sound of the horns outside. 

 

~

 

Jake sighed, feeling as if the world decided to drop a shit ton of weights on his shoulders and he could barely compete with the mass of it. He was standing in the waiting room for the hospital, a quiet and shaking Michael by his side. They were waiting for the others to get there, so he could explain what had just happened to them. Everyone was in a panic, and now that they knew, it was only fair to tell them the whole thing. 

 

Christine suddenly burst into the room, a quivering Brooke and a solemn Chloe right behind her. Jenna followed shortly after, frown on and eyes large, examining everything she saw in the waiting room. Rich entered last, immediately going for Michael to hold and console him. Jakeʻs colesiaʻs shook a bit at the scene, but he bit his lip to keep them settled. This wasnʻt about him. 

 

After a beat of silence, Michael spoke up. “What the hell was all of that?”

 

He looked up into Jakeʻs eyes, and the other could clearly see confusion, pain, and a bit of anger in those warm browns. 

 

“My friend - my  _best_ friend, just threw up flowers in front of me - _bloody_  flowers. After ignoring me for a whole _week_ , he just - “ 

 

Michael stopped talking and buried his head into Richʻs shoulder, who began to comb through his hair and whisper reassurances. They all watched as the Filipino boy shook slightly, hiding his face so he wouldnʻt have to see the shiny white walls of the hospital. They were all silent. 

 

“...Jake,” Christine called out, the other instantly turning to address her. She was looking at him with eyes that knew things all too well. “Itʻs hanahaki, isnʻt it?”

 

“Thatʻs what itʻs called?” The boy muttered as he scratched his head, not really feeling it. “I suppose so, yeah, if that includes throwing up and choking on flowers that grow in your lungs.” 

 

Brooke shook at that, and Chloe reached over to pet her hair. That comforted the blonde, and she calmed down a bit. 

 

“You know about it?” Jake asked, and Christine shrugged. 

 

“Iʻve only really heard about it. My Mom told me one of her best friends had the illness when she was growing up. Almost died from it but got the surgery instead. She said it was genetic or something.”

 

“Yeah, Jeremy said his mom apparently had it too before she divorced Mr. Heere, so…” Jake sighed. 

 

Michael looked up at that, staring at Jake accusingly. “How do you know all of that? Iʻve been Jeremyʻs friend since we were 5 and heʻs never once told me - “

 

“It was an accident.” Jake interrupted. “I walked in on him coughing a whole pile of flowers one day, and we just sort of started to hang out because of it. He told me about his illness and I started helping him out with dealing with it cause he was too anxious to tell anyone else.” 

 

“But what is it exactly?” Jenna asked from the back, eyes still moving about nervously. “I mean, heʻs throwing up flowers with BLOOD on them - why?” 

 

Christine and Jake shared a look. 

 

“Itʻs hard to explain…” Christine started. 

 

“Itʻs gonna sound absolutely insane and not true at all,” Jake finished. “But honestly itʻs not the whackiest thing in the world, so bear with us, okay?” 

 

After a beat of silence, Jake sucked in a breathe. “Heʻs in love.”

 

~ 

 

Jeremy woke up slowly, eyes blurry from a rest that was very much needed. He had no idea where he was, but there was something warm holding his hand and leaning on his stomach, so he didnʻt feel like complaining. 

 

Moving a bit to get into a better position, the warmth on his belly flinches and moves as well, and he whines at the loss of contact, trying to reach out to where it went. Another hand met his and laces their fingers together. 

 

Blinking to regain sight, Jeremy looked to his left only to find Michael staring back at him, bags under his eyes and his hair unkempt. It was obvious the other had been there for awhile, may have even stayed overnight to rest uncomfortably on the chair near the bed. Jeremy blinked again. 

 

“Why didnʻt you tell me?” God, even his voice sounded horrible. Jeremy felt terrible. 

 

“Tell you what..?” Well, at least his own voice was screeching as well. They both needed a glass of water. 

 

“Why didnʻt you tell me about the flowers…?” Michael squeezed his hands tighter. “I wouldnʻt have judged, hell, I would have tried to help! I know, this whole thing was probably really scary for you, but Iʻm here for you, Jere! Iʻm player one and youʻre my player two: we get through this together!” 

 

Michael was being so genuine, and Jeremy knew he was keeping his best in mind, but he couldnʻt help it; he started to cry, soft whimpers leaving his mouth as he pulled a hand back in an attempt to hide the weak noises. His marigolds were stable at the moment, but his heart wasnʻt. 

 

He couldnʻt handle it anymore. 

 

“No, Michael, we canʻt.” A shaky breathe. “Itʻs already WAY too late for me, and I donʻt want to put you in that kind of situation, especially after all Iʻve done to you - I donʻt deserve you, I NEVER have and this whole thing just proves it even more! Youʻre happy now and I know that you have so much going on for you and I wonʻt ruin that for you by getting me and these flowers involved - “   
  


“Jeremy,” Michael said firmly. He stared at the other with hard eyes, meaning business as he reached for Jeremyʻs free hand and held them tightly once more. “You will not ruin anything, you hear me? Youʻre my best friend, and the person who has stayed by my side the longest - even with everything thatʻs happened to us, youʻre still here and WANT to be here, and that means so much to me, Jere.” 

 

Michaelʻs thumbs started to rub gentle circles on Jeremyʻs hands, and the pale boy began to whimper again. 

 

“Please Jere, I want to help you. Who is it?” 

 

If Jeremy wasnʻt shaking before, he was now. The tears he was crying became stronger, and they fell down his face as he tried to control his sobs. He looked into Michaelʻs eyes, whimsy blue meeting soft brown. Now or never, he supposed.

 

“ _You_ ,” He said weakly. “Itʻs you.” 

 

Out of all the outcomes, Michael would have never expected those words to come from Jeremy. What? He voiced his concerns. 

 

“I-Itʻs always been you, Micah,” Jeremy hiccuped. “Iʻve had this since 7th grade, b-but I had no idea who I had it for, so I just assumed it was Christine and then it went away for awhile - and then the whole SQUIP shit went around and fucked us over. And I missed you so much during everything, and I-I was so glad we made up immediately afterwards. I missed your warmth and how funny you were and all of our gamer days - everything was back to normal, a-and then you got with Rich and I - 

 

“I started coughing up the flowers again, and that was when I knew.” He sucked in a hard breathe, looking gloomily at Michael. “It was you.” 

 

MIchael sat there amazed, loosely holding the others hands as he processed everything. Him? Jeremy loved him? 

 

He stood up shakily, patting Jeremyʻs hands, as he blankly looked around the room. 

 

“Um, c-cool man,” He said, not actually sure how to answer. “Wow, I um - I kind of...I just - I need some time to take this all in, that - that was a lot and Iʻm dating Rich right now, you know? So I gotta just think about this for awhile, i-is that okay?”

 

He looked back at Jeremy, who was withering at Michaelʻs words, but kept a strong face on. He smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I get it. Iʻm sorry.” 

 

Michael frowned and told him not to blame himself before shuffling out of the room. Once he knew for sure that the other wasnʻt in earshot, Jeremy let out the loudest wail he had ever let out since he had learned about his flowers. 

 

~ 

 

Michael sat outside in an ice cream shop, feet swinging and kicking up dust. Jeremy loved him -  _had_ loved him, for years, but clearly had been confused and so projected it onto Christine - what a trip this whole thing was. 

 

But what was important now was that he figured out his own feelings in this, or else Jeremy might just die and heʻll lose his best friend forever. He at least knew that he didnʻt want that. In fact, the thought of losing Jeremy forever was absolutely horrible - he wasnʻt sure if he himself could go on if that happened. 

 

Did that mean he was in love with Jeremy? Could he ever move on? A part of him told him he could, but he would hold onto Jeremyʻs soul forever despite it. But what did that even mean? He was only 17 for crying out loud, this kind of stuff was too much for a teenager to really think about. 

 

Suddenly, the chair across from him was filled, the person falling into it with a _fwump_. Rich had finally gotten there, after Michael had called to meet him to talk about this whole situation. Rich had seemed to have been handling quite well before, but now he looked wrecked - as if he had also gotten some life-changing news about his best friend.

 

“Hey.” Michael said.

 

“Hey.” Rich answered. 

 

They sat for a few moments in silence, before Michael started again. “So...I have some news.”

 

Rich sighed. “So do I.” 

 

The taller boy squinted at the other. “You first…?” 

 

Another sigh. “So Jake just told me some fucked up things that I am too dead inside to process right now, but he basically said that he has hanahaki too, and that heʻs in love with me.” 

 

Wow. So that was news indeed. 

 

Michael coughed. “Um, kind of me too? After Jeremy woke up I coaxed him into telling me who he liked and he...he said it was me.” 

 

The two sat in more silence after that. What were they going to do now? They were still obviously dating each other, but both of their best friends had just confessed their feelings to them and were also consequently dying from it. 

 

“Hey Richie,” Michael said slowly. “Jeremy dying would really suck, and I imagine that Jake dying would also suck too. If we lost them, man...what would we even do?”

 

“...I donʻt know, cry I guess?” Rich started flicking his fingers anxiously, biting his lower lip. Michael smiled fondly. “I mean, I really like you Mikey, but the thought of losing Jake? Itʻs…”

 

“Possibly the worst thing to ever imagine?” The other finished, nodding. “Yeah I get that. Loving Jeremy is better than losing him…So…”

 

“So… I guess we should give them a try?” 

 

They both looked at each other, unsure. Only after a nod did they become more certain in their choice, standing up together and hugging tightly. 

 

“Iʻll miss you a bit, Richie,” Michael whispered to him, petting his hair.

 

“Miss you too, Mikey,” Rich answered back. “But weʻd miss them more.” 

 

“Ha, youʻre right.”

 

~ 

 

The two had chosen to take an easy walk back to the hospital, but when theyʻd gotten there, everything was in disarray. Jenna ran up to them. “And where the hell were you two?!”   
  


“Huh? Whatʻs going on?” Michael asked, pulling away from Rich.

 

“Jeremyʻs in critical state,” Brooke said behind Jenna, eyes red and hair a mess. “Theyʻre trying their best to keep him in shape but he might need the surgery…”

 

“No!” Christine yelled defiantly behind Brooke. She didnʻt look as well off. “He will _NOT_ be getting the surgery, and that is final!”

 

“But itʻll save his life!” Chloe yelled next to her. “What do you want, him to die?!”

 

“I want him knowing that he made the choice to love someone who deserved it rather than being forced to not love them ever again!” Christine yelled back. “Even if he was saved, he wouldnʻt be the same Jeremy!” 

 

“Whereʻs Jake?” Rich began to look around frantically, realizing the only other boy in the friend group wasnʻt here. 

 

“He started throwing up flowers, too. Heʻs in one of the rooms, but heʻs not so bad compared to Jeremy.” Jenna shook slightly. 

 

“Where are they?” Michael asked hurriedly. “We need to see them.” 

 

“You canʻt  _ see _ them,” Chloe seethed. “Theyʻre both dying, for Christʻs sake, the nurseʻs wonʻt let you in.” 

 

“Just watch us,” Rich growled back, sprinting into the halls, Michael following.

 

The girls yelled after them, but it wasnʻt any use. 

 

The two slammed into the room Jeremy was previously in, and low and behold, both of their boys were there, Jeremy being attended to by two nurses frantically writing down and working on the machines surrounding the pale boy. On the bed next to him, Jake laid peacefully, eyes hazy but looking over at the nurses as they worked. He was frowning. 

 

Rich immediately tuned to Jake, reaching out to gently caress the otherʻs face and hands.

 

Michael went to Jeremyʻs sides, and despite the warnings and low threats from the nurses, grabbed onto Jeremyʻs hands. He was still awake. 

 

“Jere,” Michael stroked Jeremyʻs cheek, pushing a bit of hair that fell in his face. If he had thought Jeremy looked bad before, he looked like he was walking through deathʻs door now; his breathing was so shallow.  

 

Holding his own, Michael peered into the otherʻs eyes, which were dull but focused on him, gravitated towards him. 

 

“Hey, Jere Bear,” He smiled. “I thought about it. I talked to Rich. W-We figured a couple of things out, and we decided what to do.” 

 

A few tears fell from his face as the hand that was holding Jeremyʻs reached up to properly hold Jeremyʻs face. Please, let this work. 

 

“You...I chose you, Jeremy.” 

 

Blue eyes barely widened in surprise, before the pale boy started convulsing, his chest heaving with strained breathes that seemed to have been sucked out of him. He shook so much, Michael had to let him go, the nurses pushing him back to swarm the sick one. In the corner of his eye, he saw Rich freaking out as nurses came to help a convulsing Jake as well. 

 

_ God no, please donʻt do this, not now when they had figured everything out and they could fix everything, please, they just needed more time, pLEASE -  _

 

Nothing. The heart monitors for both boys were still, the only sound in the room their insistent ringing. The nurses stopped moving, standing over what now seemed the bodies of two dead teenagers. Jeremy and Jake had stopped moving. 

 

Suddenly, Rich screamed. It was so raw and intense that Michael shuddered, and on wobbly legs he went back to Jeremyʻs side as Rich practically threw himself onto Jake. No, this couldnʻt be it. It couldnʻt be. 

 

Michael tenderly brushed hair out of Jeremyʻs face, holding his head and neck and lifting it up. He looked so peaceful, despite having struggled just a few seconds ago. 

 

There was a noise, like someone was choking and holding back tears; it took a few more seconds for Michael to realize it was him, when his tears began to fall on Jeremyʻs face. He couldnʻt stop then. With another choked breathe, he pulled Jeremyʻs lax body towards him and squeezed his face into the nape of Jeremyʻs neck. “No…” 

 

A hand fell on his shoulder, and Christineʻs watery voice came through, but Michael could barely understand it. The others were in the room now. How lovely. 

 

A gasp came from behind him as well, and suddenly a new and excited voice exclaimed something. Michael still didnʻt look, even as the rest of the room began to get excited. He kept his head ducked in Jeremyʻs neck, content to just leave himself there forever. Well, it wouldʻve been forever is he hadnʻt noticed the slight trace of a heartbeat underneath him. 

 

Pulling back quickly, he barely took notice of Rich hurriedly checking Jake as he began to inspect Jeremy. In silence, he looked over everything, and was almost convinced he was making things up, when Jeremyʻs eyebrows twitched, and then his eyes, and suddenly he was looking back into whimsy blues like he had always seen. 

 

Jeremy stared up at Michael blankly, before beginning to cough. He coughed more and more until he had to push Michael away and turned to the side, throwing up a large bouquet of red marigolds marred and painted with more red blood. Jake too had woken up and done the same thing, freaking Rich out and causing him to screech. 

 

“Jeremy…?”

 

The mentioned looked up into surprised, warm brown eyes, and for the first time in a long while, his smile was real. 

 

~ 

 

After the doctors checked up and had called their guardians, they were given the news: both boys were fine. They were saved by the last minute confessions, but were to the point where their bodies had to dispel the flowers and restart the body, temporarily shutting down. Now, the flowers were completely gone, and the boys could work back up to perfect health in no time. 

 

The crew celebrated with a good, long nap in the hospital waiting room. The workers showed sympathy and let this go for the day. 

 

For the next couple of days, Jeremy and Jake spent their time in the hospital, working up enough strength to make sure they could at least leave the hospital. Michael and Rich came by everyday, sneaking in some of their favorite foods and some celebratory ice cream for them. The boys were both tired, but incredibly relieved. 

 

When they got out, they were allowed to have a group sleepover with the SQUIP squad, where they were surrounded with hugs and tears. All in all, it ended pretty well. 

 

Rich cuddled up to Jakeʻs side, grabbing and messing around with his hand. The taller snickered and poked his side, making him squeal and turn to bury his face in Jakeʻs neck. A laugh escaped the boy this time as he lifted the smaller onto his lap and cuddled back. 

 

“I love you, Rich,” Jake murmured, voice sounding tired as his eyes began to droop. It was 1 in the morning, and the two had just kicked Christine out of the house and back to her own home at around midnight. “More than anything.”

 

“More than cockscombs?” Rich snickered, remembering when Jake first told him about the flowerʻs name in the hospital. 

 

“More than cockscombs,” he sealed that statement with a kiss to the forehead, before finally falling asleep with a snore. 

 

Rich laughed fully now, eyes crinkling as he looked at his new boyfriend with great fondness. It was a good thing him and Michael decided on what they did. Even if they were reluctant at first, it was obviously going to be the best decision of their lives. 

 

~ 

 

“Michael!” Jeremy laughed, crying as the other boy continued to blow raspberries on his neck and tickle his sides. “Please, I surrender, you win!” 

 

“Oh really?” Michael smirked. He wouldnʻt stop until he heard it again. “Then say it again. I wanna see you properly this time.” 

 

Jeremy laughed and sighed as Michael slowly stopped his torture and gently held his hips as if they were made of porcelain. He smiled softly and looked into his boyfriendʻs eyes.

 

“Youʻre my favorite person, Micah.  _ Mahal kita. _ ” 

 

Michael shuddered when he heard the last part, pulling Jeremy closer and lightly kissing the pale boyʻs collarbone. Now the other quivered under him, his chest sensitive.

 

He chuckled. “And youʻre my player two. Weʻll get through this together.”

 

“...F-Forever?” Jeremy looked away, a hint of anxiety in his eyes. Oh no, not on Michaelʻs watch.

 

He pulled the boys face to look back at him, eyes warm and lit with affection that had Jeremy knocked on his ass. He lightly kissed him at first, but then began to pull him in for more, passion and want nagging at the both of them as they held each other tightly. When they couldnʻt go on any further, Jeremy pulled away, Michael chasing slightly after. The Filipino looked up at his  _ mahalʻs _ lovely eyes. 

 

“Forever.” He confirmed, giving another peck on the lips before leaning over and landing heavily onto Jeremyʻs bed, pulling the small boy along with him. The latter squeaked, but allowed himself to be dragged down, enjoying the warmth that was finally his.

 

His father was coming back tomorrow, so he would be able to explain and talk it out with the parent by then, but for now, he wanted rest. He was finally and genuinely happy now. With a group of great friends, a new boyfriend, and his flowers gone, nothing looked impossible. 

 

Michael and Jeremy could get through this. They could get through anything, together. 


End file.
